Teddy and Me

this one may be a tearjerker

This short story was written as part of my year-long creative writing challenge. Every Monday, I use a random number generator to select a new writing prompt and share my response by the following weekend. You can learn more about the project here.

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You imagined your best friend into existence, and every day you’re afraid you’ll accidentally make them disappear.

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Momma took Teddy and I to the zoo today. We saw the lights set up for Christmas and got hot chocolate from a booth with a picture of a giraffe on it. Mine had lots of marshmallows. I love marshmallows. They melt and make the chocolate all creamy and then stick to my lip like a mustache. I kept poking them and Momma told me to stop cause my fingers were getting all sticky. 

We saw an elephant and tigers and a whole group of lions! They were sleeping and not doing much. Maybe lions are awake more at night, like Daddy. Maybe they had a long, hard day. I don’t know very much about lions. There was also a lizard that was bright green and a bird with a long beak. A TWO-CAN. I think that’s what it was. It was really fun to see all the animals. 

Teddy was quieter than he usually is. He only talks when I’m around now. I keep telling him he doesn’t have to be shy. Even when we went and saw the bears and there was a baby bear that crawled out from under its momma and made a cute little noise, he didn’t say anything. I thought for sure that would make him talk cause it looked just like him. Maybe he’ll talk later when it’s just me and him at the treehouse. He still talks then. 

Margot said Teddy doesn’t talk because he’s not real and that we should have left him in the car. She said he was an M-BEAR-SSMENT. I don’t know what that is, but it doesn’t sound nice. She kept saying mean things. She said I made Teddy up and then I started crying and Momma told her to stop. Momma knows Teddy is real. He’s just shy. 

I don’t think I made Teddy up. He’s my best friend. Maybe he’s quiet now because Margot has gotten so mean. She puts blue sparkly stuff on her eyelids now and doesn’t smile at me anymore. I miss how she was before. I miss how she used to play with me. Even when she’d make me dress up and have tea with her dolls. She didn’t laugh at Teddy then. She made him wear a tutu, but he thought it was really funny. He never got mad.

I miss when Teddy talked more. When I asked why he’s so quiet, he said it’s normal for him to talk less. That as I get bigger he’ll get quieter. That one day I won’t be able to hear him. I hope that day never comes. I don’t want Teddy to go away.

He said he’ll still be here, I just won’t hear him the same way. Only little kids can hear him like he is now. I hope I stay little so I can always hear him. I don’t want to get bigger if it means I can’t talk to Teddy anymore. When I said this, he said that I could still talk to him, he just won’t be able to talk back. I don’t like the sound of that. 

Maybe that will be my birthday wish this year. Momma says we get one special wish every year. We have to keep it a secret or it won’t come true. I think I’ll wish that Teddy will always talk. That he’ll always be with me, no matter how big I get. Maybe I can wish that I won’t grow up. 

I’m going to take Teddy to the treehouse tomorrow to throw sticks in the river. I love that game. Teddy loves it too. His stick always wins the race. I don’t know how, but I don’t mind. I don’t care if he wins, so long as he stays.

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I read a lot of Calvin and Hobbes while growing up, and when I saw this week’s prompt the thought came into my head: what happens to Hobbes when Calvin grows up? My narrator is a gentler soul than Calvin was, but I wanted to capture that inner voice of a child on the cusp of getting older.

Writing this made me think about my own imaginary friends that I had a a child: Goldie the dragon, Nibbles the unicorn pegasus, and my most special Friend Wolf. My dad always called them spirit friends. Maybe that’s what imaginary friends actually are, a manifestation of our spirit guides or a piece of our own soul. Maybe we see them outside ourselves as kids because we’re in need of something—a protector, a companion, someone to understand us—and as we grow up, they integrate back into our own personhood. That’s what I thought of when I imagined Teddy saying that he’d always be there, the narrator just won’t hear him the same way.

I like the idea that even as we grow up, our imaginary friends don’t actually leave—that they just become a part of ourselves again.

Did you have an imaginary friend growing up? What was their name?