What if it all went ok? What if it all went well?
What if the last trimester wasn’t awful, if you embraced the changes in your body and mind, trusting that they are temporary? What if you didn’t feel lost and like the pieces of yourself were scattered across the globe? What if you felt excited, if you allowed yourself to be excited, rather than afraid? What if there were no complications, if time passed gently, and you felt as prepared as you could be by the end?
What if the birth went smoothly, if there were no emergencies, and despite the pain, you had a good experience? What if you were strong enough to cope with the pain? What if there were no lasting trauma, if you weren’t in any danger, and your body did what it’s naturally designed to do? What if it was safe and whole and powerful, and this new life came into the world healthy and strong?
What if you didn’t suffer from postpartum depression, if you bonded right away? What if breastfeeding were easy, if the baby slept well, and things fell into a simple routine? What if you weren’t too overwhelmed (or could rise to the occasion of being overwhelmed just fine)? What if you felt supported and loved and trusted the people around you to help you find your way, that they wouldn't leave you alone to flounder?
What if you didn’t lose yourself through becoming a parent, if you were still you even though your life had changed? What if you trusted your own presence, that nothing could erase the core of who you are? What if you enjoyed the changes, enjoyed the late nights, the mess and the tiredness, because you enjoyed caring for this little human that you’ve created?
What if you enjoyed becoming a mom?
And even if none of that happens, and things don’t go how you hoped or wished they would—
What if it still all turns out ok?
What a beautiful philosophy, Kerani.