Commending you for making this choice! It can be so challenging in this society to centre motherhood and parenting. You’re not “just” a mum! I think that if we were a matriarchal society we would be thriving.
Agreed Carly! Mothering is so important but I feel like it’s often taken for granted and not given enough weight by the patriarchal systems we live in. Ironic, since those very same systems like to push women towards motherhood and homemaking, but simultaneously devalue them 😑
There is nothing "just" about it. If you are able to do it, staying home with your baby is the best thing you can do. It's just sad that most countries don't support parents who want to prioritise staying with their children. There is no job that is more important. Your baby will be a better human for it and we all know we need more of those.
You are brave and you are not alone. I applaud you.
Love this! Well done on trusting your gut feeling and heart’s desires!
It makes me mad when they require in-office attendance again like the pandemic never happened and raising children and working isn’t made easier through flexibility (not saying you need to do both but I believe we need to be supported better should we want / need to)
I don’t have children yet but had a challenging conversation with my manager who wants me to be in the office more and I tried to explain that exhaustion and fluctuating anxiety due to the attendance expectations plus workload make it hard. He wasn’t pleased, I wasn’t pleased. I’ll make it work until I go in maternity leave one day. And then? 🤷♀️ we shall see 😉
100% agree. It very much felt like a decision that was made without the perspective of moms/caregivers in mind (and dare I say, that feels outdated?). I can understand the whole “return to office” push if you work in a hands on industry that really benefits from working in person. But 90% of my work was online anyways. Also, I realized that I’d be making *less* by going into the office when you factor in commuting costs and time.
I’m sorry to hear that your company is being inflexible. Hope you’re able to make it work in the meantime or find something eventually that’s a better fit for you ♥️
You have decided to prioritize your child and yourself and to create a life that best suits you, instead of living a life you didn't like. You made the bravest choice!
Oof. I feel this. I've been "just a mum" since my eldest was born - he's 18 in September. I always thought I would do something once my youngest went to school, but then we started homeschooling, so that's my "job". Doesn't feel enough in this culture though.
If I can ignore that noise though, it's pretty awesome getting to spend my days with this super cool people I made myself. Enjoy your time at home with your little one, I know it's cliche but they really do grow up so fast.
So frustrating how it’s devalued. You’re homeschooling, literally a job if you were doing it in a school, but for some reason when it’s your own kids our culture doesn’t see it that way? It makes no sense.
I wonder if part of it comes from the assumption that women will be putting that level of effort into their kids regardless, so it’s taken for granted and not valued as much as a job? Or if it’s just because it doesn’t earn a paycheck. So many questions on why it is this way.
Congratulation, Kerani, on this brave decision. I share your feelings of doubt and ambivalence which come with giving up professional work for mothering work. What shall we say at a party? I once tried to respond to the typical “and what are you doing?” question with: I am trying to build a good life. To my surprise it made the questioner tear up: I wish I could say that, he responded.
Your wording is even nicer: building a „pretty incredible life.“ yes, go for it and enjoy all of it 🥳
Ps: just as you say in your about section: we begin at the threshold…
I love that Almut, what an incredible story! It’s a big frustration of mine how our society tries to put people into boxes based on their employment. Maybe it’s because my job has only ever been a means to support my creative life, but I’ve never viewed my work as a part of my identity. I love that thought of “I’m trying to build a beautiful life.” So often people get caught in the grind of work and forget to makes space what makes them happy.
Yes, Kerani, I agree. Thus I love the monastic approach Ora et labora, the balance between contemplation and active work. It does not matter what kind of work or if it is is pay check work. Just what we do between meals and prayers 😇 So do continue to bless us with your creative work 🙏
I did this 26 and 26 years ago with my son and daughter and I do not regret one single minute of the time I lost a wage earner or a father. Follow your heart and dreams and you will be successful and happy. This time with your family is precious and limited, enjoy it too the full.
It really should be a free choice for moms (and dads) to either stay at home or have access to affordable and good quality childcare. I'd prefer for my taxes to go on that as opposed to some of the things they are (imho) wasted on. Anyhow, I'm glad you were able to go with what you wanted.
Completely agree with you Jon. It worked out for me because I wasn’t attached to my day job, so making the decision to leave it was easy. But I knew other moms who wanted to stay ay the company but couldn’t justify the cost in childcare for them to return to the office four days a week.
An incredible life indeed. I am here with you for all of this. xx
I think my favorite thing about the internet is how it’s allowed me to connect with so many other mother-creatives 🥰
Oh, absolutely. What a gift.
Commending you for making this choice! It can be so challenging in this society to centre motherhood and parenting. You’re not “just” a mum! I think that if we were a matriarchal society we would be thriving.
Agreed Carly! Mothering is so important but I feel like it’s often taken for granted and not given enough weight by the patriarchal systems we live in. Ironic, since those very same systems like to push women towards motherhood and homemaking, but simultaneously devalue them 😑
There is nothing "just" about it. If you are able to do it, staying home with your baby is the best thing you can do. It's just sad that most countries don't support parents who want to prioritise staying with their children. There is no job that is more important. Your baby will be a better human for it and we all know we need more of those.
You are brave and you are not alone. I applaud you.
Write books, make art and raise your baby. 🤎
Thanks Sara 🥰 I agree that there should be more support in place for parents who chose to stay home with their kids.
Love this! Well done on trusting your gut feeling and heart’s desires!
It makes me mad when they require in-office attendance again like the pandemic never happened and raising children and working isn’t made easier through flexibility (not saying you need to do both but I believe we need to be supported better should we want / need to)
I don’t have children yet but had a challenging conversation with my manager who wants me to be in the office more and I tried to explain that exhaustion and fluctuating anxiety due to the attendance expectations plus workload make it hard. He wasn’t pleased, I wasn’t pleased. I’ll make it work until I go in maternity leave one day. And then? 🤷♀️ we shall see 😉
100% agree. It very much felt like a decision that was made without the perspective of moms/caregivers in mind (and dare I say, that feels outdated?). I can understand the whole “return to office” push if you work in a hands on industry that really benefits from working in person. But 90% of my work was online anyways. Also, I realized that I’d be making *less* by going into the office when you factor in commuting costs and time.
I’m sorry to hear that your company is being inflexible. Hope you’re able to make it work in the meantime or find something eventually that’s a better fit for you ♥️
You have decided to prioritize your child and yourself and to create a life that best suits you, instead of living a life you didn't like. You made the bravest choice!
This made my heart swell Francesca 🥹 I hadn’t thought of it before as brave, that really means a lot to hear!
❤
Write books, make art, raise my baby
Well that sounds like a life well lived!
Good on you for doing what’s best for you and your family. Crazy that doing so is no longer the common thing to do x
Thanks Georgia 🥰 I know that it might not be the best fit choice for everyone, but it definitely is for me.
Oof. I feel this. I've been "just a mum" since my eldest was born - he's 18 in September. I always thought I would do something once my youngest went to school, but then we started homeschooling, so that's my "job". Doesn't feel enough in this culture though.
If I can ignore that noise though, it's pretty awesome getting to spend my days with this super cool people I made myself. Enjoy your time at home with your little one, I know it's cliche but they really do grow up so fast.
So frustrating how it’s devalued. You’re homeschooling, literally a job if you were doing it in a school, but for some reason when it’s your own kids our culture doesn’t see it that way? It makes no sense.
I wonder if part of it comes from the assumption that women will be putting that level of effort into their kids regardless, so it’s taken for granted and not valued as much as a job? Or if it’s just because it doesn’t earn a paycheck. So many questions on why it is this way.
Congratulation, Kerani, on this brave decision. I share your feelings of doubt and ambivalence which come with giving up professional work for mothering work. What shall we say at a party? I once tried to respond to the typical “and what are you doing?” question with: I am trying to build a good life. To my surprise it made the questioner tear up: I wish I could say that, he responded.
Your wording is even nicer: building a „pretty incredible life.“ yes, go for it and enjoy all of it 🥳
Ps: just as you say in your about section: we begin at the threshold…
I love that Almut, what an incredible story! It’s a big frustration of mine how our society tries to put people into boxes based on their employment. Maybe it’s because my job has only ever been a means to support my creative life, but I’ve never viewed my work as a part of my identity. I love that thought of “I’m trying to build a beautiful life.” So often people get caught in the grind of work and forget to makes space what makes them happy.
Yes, Kerani, I agree. Thus I love the monastic approach Ora et labora, the balance between contemplation and active work. It does not matter what kind of work or if it is is pay check work. Just what we do between meals and prayers 😇 So do continue to bless us with your creative work 🙏
I did this 26 and 26 years ago with my son and daughter and I do not regret one single minute of the time I lost a wage earner or a father. Follow your heart and dreams and you will be successful and happy. This time with your family is precious and limited, enjoy it too the full.
Following the joy, that’s exactly what I’m doing 🥰
It really should be a free choice for moms (and dads) to either stay at home or have access to affordable and good quality childcare. I'd prefer for my taxes to go on that as opposed to some of the things they are (imho) wasted on. Anyhow, I'm glad you were able to go with what you wanted.
Completely agree with you Jon. It worked out for me because I wasn’t attached to my day job, so making the decision to leave it was easy. But I knew other moms who wanted to stay ay the company but couldn’t justify the cost in childcare for them to return to the office four days a week.
Proud of you for following your heart and making this big decision. I can't wait to see what magic you make around the edges.
Thank you friend 🥰
Lovely said.